Edit: This post was first published on April 1, 2016. It is a joke. Mountainlessons.com holds no trademark on the name GoBlow, nor are we importing cocaine as a base for intranasal electrolytes. Thank you to all who enjoyed it, with a special thanks to the few who bought it hook, line, and sinker.
Today we’re very excited to announce a new direction for MountainLessons.com. As a regular reader, you know that we often ask you to use banner ads on our site when you make gear purchases online. Your contributions cover just part of the costs of running this site, so we’ve been looking to increase the revenue stream and also drive some innovation in the endurance sector.
The sport nutrition market is a crowded one. You don’t need another bar or beverage. You need something that works better, and we’re ready to deliver it to you. After three years of brainstorming, development, and testing, we’re proud to announce that beginning tomorrow we will be taking pre-orders for GoBlow™, the world’s first intranasal electrolyte formulation.
What is GoBlow™?
Anyone who’s ever run an ultra knows that the stomach is an unreliable partner at best. It cramps, complains, and can even shut down during longer events.
Worse still, any fuel taken in by stomach can take hours to reach the circulation, limiting performance.
GoBlow™ uses a patent-pending base of organic Erythroxylum extract in combination with special nasal formulations of sodium, chloride, magnesium, branched chain amino acids, and mixed carbohydrates. When insufflated on a run or a ride, these vital nutrients bypass the stomach and troublesome metabolic barrier of the liver, traveling straight into your circulation to fuel your efforts.
How is GoBlow™ delivered?
GoBlow™ will be available in four pilot scents: LemonPoppy,ChaiSpice, MountainSnow, and CocaMoca. We’ve designed the packaging to be lightweight, easy to use, and it’s an idea system for delivering an hourly boost to your endurance system. The slim, water resistant paper packaging is lightweight, easy to store, never goes bad, and best of all, it’s recyclable. You can’t say that about all of those sticky Gu packets!
Our amazing pilot scents: LemonPoppy,ChaiSpice, MountainSnow, and CocaMoca
We appreciate all of the support that we’ve had from from our friends, classmates, fellow athletes, and our South American investment partners. Without all of you we never could have established the recipe and supply of this revolutionary product.
If you have additional questions about GoBlow™, our Q&A is below, but take it from us, you’re going to love this stuff.
Best of all, if you pre-order, your first box is free!
GoBlow™ Athletes Patrick Fink and Peter Innes first tested this final production run of GoBlow™ during a successful speed skiing effort on Mt Hood’s Wy’East Face:
“The energy that I felt was amazing. For once, I was the best possible version of myself as an athlete. With GoBlow™, there was no stopping me.” -Peter
I’m scared up putting things up my nose. Is GoBlow™ safe?
Absolutely! We’ve eliminate potassium from our formulation to prevent cardiac arrhythmias, and we performed extensive rodent testing before passing GoBlow™ on to our athletes. No rodents were harmed… but we did end up with some fast rats!
I once tried snorting a pixie stick and didn’t like the experience. Does GoBlow hurt?
We get it. We were kids too. But GoBlow™ is totally different. Sure, if you snort salt, it’s going to hurt. But our organic plant base will completely anesthetize the nasal mucosa within moments of intranasal dissolution. But enough with the science talk! We promise that you won’t feel GoBlow™ go in, but you will feel amazing afterwards!
It looks good, and it smells even better, but does GoBlow™ work?
We guarantee it! On our pilot testing run, our athlete Ethan Linck set the fastest known time around Mt Rainier! He was unsupported… but for a vest full of water and GoBlow™. I personally used GoBlow™ this winter, and I podiumed at every race I entered. If you want to feel invincible and “blow the competition out of the water”™, then GoBlow™ is for you.
I loved my GoBlow™! When can I get more?
We love our customers, and we understand that once you start using GoBlow™, it can be really hard to go back to other supplements. Still, it’s challenging to keep a good supply of our plant extract in stock. But we know that our repeat customers are our best customers, so we’ll notify you by email when the next bale arrives.
Feel awesome again.